Patterns: Adulthood and Millennials Parenthood
Let life breathe on you. Let the gains you daily seek in completing yourself be your profit. Let God sit with you and imagine your grannies retelling you about Moses and Joseph as star-boys. Paint a picture of Huggy running around the house. Let’s agree your kid sis got hairy Huggy, her German-shepherd, from a friend the last time you visited your neighbours – this last time was about 15 years ago.
Now, you are off childhood years. And it’s stripping to know you cannot trash out your guys in soccer – live and virtually. Neither can you do the dishes without some grudge spreading faster than your intentions. Dad never saw a good in soccer. Being antisocial without a reason was cool. He found it wrong for you to be a kid at 11 or 13. You weren’t allowed to make mistakes. You were either working towards being the man he never was or you were constantly shedding distractions around being who he feels is best for you.
The weight wasn’t any less with Mum. She doesn’t roar at you like Dad does but in between her subtleness is the similitude of everything Dad left unsaid.
Growing up, truly, is a long road to freedom. The idea of parenthood is a fabric worn in and out of every child’s life. In both glass houses and shanty hoods, ideologies around this subject levels or upturns the makeshift of what shouldn’t be that now is. This gist isn’t to pull down logs on the good of parenthood. Rather, what majors are the motif around millennial parents mounting quack pressures on their wards because they like to show they care.
How much a child comprehends your action is a tactic to the similarities such actions have in the build-up of who he or she. For the most part of this emotional fog, what our parents do is play the hide-and-blend game. That is, while Dad is roaring, mum gets to crack a joke about dad’s fussiness because she wants you to believe she cares about what they both talked about outside of you.
This hide-and-blend model has long been effective in breeding wards who over the years wear out of their parents’ deceit as a result of trendy exposure. To some, this exposure leads to definition, good or bad. And to others, all there is is a plastic copy of who they have been conditioned to be.
“Don’t do that!
Stop that!
You dare not try it …” without quality explanations steam rebellion.
“I have already talked to this and that!
This is where you must school!
This is how and what you must do this…” without a readiness for conversation builds a bridge of isolation as the child matures into adulthood.
Depression doesn’t jump at young adults. A few scenarios stem out of inherited stereotypical lifestyle crafted out for young adults by their parents whose dream of “avoiding-the-failures-of-my-past” has crushed the needed space complete genuineness. They forget too soon that mistakes is a part of life and the individual’s mind requires a self-truth that daily probes his response to life and everything inside it. It’s germane to learn from others mistake but experience keeps the mind in check with theories or fabricated myths.
A lot of parents in malls, churches, corporate organization, schools and open conversations continue to say –
“Why isn’t he talking to me?
She has decided to keep to herself.
I don’t even know how to get through to him anymore.
I feel lost when it comes to her.”
But they fail to introspectively question their patterns of parenthood. They reduce the lashes they mount on the how around who they have build-up as a man or woman in comparison to who he or she ought to discover him or herself to be. They fail to comprehend that sometimes the pictures of morality, religion, economic sufficiency and many of what they desire aren’t sincere in the closest where their children learn best. They fail to see that talking didn’t bring about calmness when their babies were toddlers, it was listening that kept them coming back every now and then.
At this point, the “why wouldn’t they listen?” is now a social conscious question rampant in the observations of young teenagers/adults. For few on this list, what has become the pattern of millennial parenthood is nothing but vexation of hurtful experiences of the past and within this, parents, therefore, strive so hard to be heroes of what they never had the privilege of being. They want to give it all to their children forgetting that force/rebellion isn’t the cure for hurt but communication. Another school of thought argues that millennial parents having lost hope in discovering their true selves come to the fore decision of creating a fresh start with their children’s life. It is more of their children being the specimens for what theirs might have been if all things worked out. It is also believed that some millennial parents build stereotypical lifestyles for their children as a shield against a kind of inner fear about themselves not having control over their wards anytime such wards is self-aware of who he or she is and can become.
There certainly must be other reasons aside from these. There are definitely other models apart from the hide-and-blend parental model. Millennial parents need to get abreast with these patterns. You, too, as a young teenager/adult, it is time to be an advocate for parental communication. Nothing beats a conversation that leads to an agreement and conclusion. It helps build trust and a readiness to daily discover the real you in actions and inactions.
